


Disintegration

by orphan_account



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: AU-everyone lives except Chris, Disturbing Themes, Gen, Gore, I feel like i had to add that it's kind of important to tag, This is going to be disturbing, decapitated!Chris, if you believe hard enough it can be climbing class, just letting you know, the alt. title for this fic is FUNFU N MINE TIME, you'll see - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-03
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-24 15:50:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,181
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4925668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He tries to ignore the feeling in his stomach and opens the door to the hook room. He has every intention of just running through it, but he freezes when he recognizes a brand new body hanging from a hook. No, was it new? Or did he just not realize who it belonged to?</p><p>Either way, he recognizes it now.</p><p>***</p><p>Alternately, Josh's time in the mines following the events of the game.<br/>-Discontinued. Sorry, pals.-</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Fear

It's dark in the mines. In Josh's current location, there isn't any natural light coming from anywhere.

He's pressing himself against the cold rock of the cave, his ribs throbbing from when Hannah tossed him in here. He isn't sure where he is, only knows it's dark, cold, and he's alone.

Alone. The word flits about in his skull, grating on his mind. He's alone.

He's alone, and it's all his fault. He whines, which sends a sharp pain through his abdomen. How hard did Hannah throw him? It doesn't matter. He knows it doesn't matter. She'll come back as soon as she's finished with Chris, and Mike, and Sam and Ashley and-

'No,' he thinks, 'I don't want them to die, I never wanted them to die!'

He opens his eyes and peeks over his knees, seeing nothing but black. It's more terrifying than he can truly register. Anything could be there. Monsters, mostly. That's the first thing that comes to mind. Whatever Hannah is. Are there more of them?

The more he thinks about it, the further his mind takes him.

“You deserve this,” a voice from the other side of the room says. It makes Josh jump.

“No,” he shakes his head, “No, no, no- I didn't mean for this to happen...”

“But it did. It did, and it's all your fault. It's all your fault.”

Josh shakes his head again, more furiously.

“No!”

From far away, he can hear an animalistic screech. Hannah?

“No, no, none of this is... this isn't real.”

He tries to steady his breathing, shutting his eyes again.

“Hannah is real, look what you've done to her.”

He doesn't recognize the voice. It's not one of his usual hallucinations, that's for sure.

“She isn't. She's not real. Hannah died...”

It's hard to convince himself it's true. How did that creature have the same tattoo Hannah once had?

“Because it is Hannah,” the voice says, the words similar to a slap.

“No!” he wails, standing up. He blindly feels along the wall, trying to find a way out. This voice, he doesn't like it. It's lying.

The stone finally changes into wood, and he realizes he's found a door. He leans against it with too much force and it topples over, Josh following. He wheezes as the pain wracks his chest again, a harsh ache spreading through his abdomen.

Slowly, his eyes adjust to the dim light of this new passageway. Josh can't tell if the light is natural or not, but he's not concerned with it. He just wants to get away from that room.

He begins taking slow, cautious steps. He hopes minimal movement will stop the pain, but despite his best efforts his lungs burn.

He follows the passage further, pausing when he slowly recognizes his surroundings. He was just here, with Sam and Mike. Sam. Mike.

It reminds him he's alone. He shakes his head again and continues on, hurrying. Mike could still be nearby, couldn't he? Or did the creature get him, too? With it's awful teeth... The stalagmites jutting out of the ground make him uneasy for that reason. It reminds him too much of the creature's teeth. Oh, no.

Josh's mind starts to warp his surroundings again, the walls of the cave turning into a muted flesh tone. It's barely visible in the dull light coming from the opening in the cave ceiling, but the subtle change makes his stomach turn. He freezes when he sees the wooden wall that separated this cave from another section of the mines. He shouldn't go in there. He remembers what's in there. Beheaded bodies, hanging from hooks.

No. He has to. That's the way out, isn't it? That's the way Mike had led him. He has to retrace his steps... but what will happen when he gets to the underground lake? Will he even be able to cross it? What if the creature was still hiding there?...

Too many questions filled his head. He has to get out. He knows that. And... that's the only way he knows...

He tries to ignore the feeling in his stomach and opens the door to the hook room. He has every intention of just running through it, but he freezes when he recognizes a brand new body hanging from a hook. No, was it new? Or did he just not realize who it belonged to?

Either way, he recognizes it now.

It's Chris.


	2. Guidance

Josh can't stop staring at the headless corpse, swinging back and forth ever so slowly from the metal hook. Chris is dead.

“No,” he whispers, “No, this- this isn't happening, this can't be happening, no, no, no!”

He collapses to his knees, sobbing. It truly was his fault. If he never brought them here, if he never planned this prank...

“I didn't want you to die!” he cries.

He killed Chris. Josh continues to sob, clutching his chest as the pain turns to sharp stabs. He runs out of breath uncomfortably soon, and he's left wheezing. His breathing all but stops when he hears a soft voice echoing through his head.

“Josh...”

“C-Chris?” He looks up again to the body. It's still swinging grotesquely, blood staining the front of Chris' clothes.

Despite being headless, Josh still hears Chris' voice.

“Josh, why did this happen?”

Josh shakes his head, eyes fixed on the gory hole where Chris' neck should be.

“I-I don't know, I don't know- Chris, I didn't know about the monsters...” He answers, voice trembling. Chris doesn't reply, just continues to swing.

“I'm so sorry, Chris... I'm so sorry...” He whimpers, slowly rising to his feet. He feels weak, his legs shaking as he continues to stare at Chris' body.

“I'm so...” Josh shakes his head, walking the same path he took with Mike. He doesn't make it very far, though. He freezes when he sees a figure standing in his way.

'No... no, not again...' He thinks, backing into the darkness of the room. He swears it's Beth, but maybe she hasn't seen him?

He backs right into Chris' legs, making him shriek and stumble forward. He scrambles away on his back, watching as Chris swings back and forth.

It makes his stomach twist, and he thinks he might be sick. Josh squeezes his eyes shut as he hears Beth's voice from just across the room.

“Frère Jacques, frère Jacques, dormez-vous? Dormez-vous?”

Josh holds his breath. If she doesn't hear him...

He stays still, barely breathing. No, he'll be fine. She's not real. She's gone, not stalking the mines looking for him...

But Hannah...

“Oh... God,” Josh whimpers. Hannah was doing exactly that right now. She'd turned into a monster, and now she was going to come back and kill Josh as soon as she was through with his friends. What was keeping Beth from doing the same? Was Beth here too? Was Beth going to kill him, just like Hannah wanted to?

“You'd deserve it, too. Wouldn't you?”

It's Beth's voice, cold and angry.

“No!” He cries, covering his eyes with his hands.

“No, no! You aren't real!”

“You left us to die, Josh. And now look, Chris is dead, too. And it's all your fault.”

Josh clutches his head, desperately wishing Beth would just disappear. He knows it's his fault- he doesn't need to hear it again.

“I'm sorry!” He shouts, looking up. Surprisingly, no one was there.

Josh blinks, taken aback. He takes a minute to regain composure, then stands up again. He avoids looking at Chris' body by looking at the ceiling, but that causes more problems than it solves. He trips over something as he makes his way towards the exit of the hook room.

Josh can't catch himself in time, and he falls flat on his face. He can't stop the whine that leaves his lips, the air leaving his lungs.

He lies there for a minute, immobilized by the pain radiating through his whole body. He's tired, hurt, and scared.

He finally moves some time later, turning to see what he tripped over. Maybe a plank, a potential weapon. A torch?

Josh doesn't even scream as he makes eye contact with Chris' head, too stunned to do anything. It stares back at him with cloudy blue eyes, unfocused and blown wide with fear.

Josh swallows hard, lip trembling. This definitely can't be real. How did he not see this before? Against his better judgement, he reaches towards the horrific thing. He pulls his hand back when his fingers brush against the cold flesh of Chris' cheek.

It's real. Chris' head was laying on the ground, right in front of him.

Josh turns away, tears beginning to blur his vision again.

“I'm so sorry, Chris...”

“Josh...?”

Josh shuts his eyes as Chris' voice reaches his ears again.

“Josh, look at me.”

Josh shakes his head. He'll be sick if he looks into those dead eyes once more.

“Josh, please,” Chris' says, voice unusually calm.

“No!” Josh snaps. He won't listen to any of the voices in his head, not anymore.

“Josh! It's me, Chris. I'm your friend. You can trust me.”

Josh sniffs and shakes his head, tears rolling down his cheeks.

“You're not real. You're dead. Just like Hannah and Beth.”

“We can get out of here, together,” Chris says, ignoring Josh's statement.

“No... No, we... no...”

“Yeah! We can figure this out, you and me.”

Josh slowly turns to Chris. His expression is exactly the same, and it's unnerving.

“You're dead,” Josh repeats.

“Didn't Mike show you the way out?” Chris' inquires. Josh's mind is scrambled. Deep down, he knows he shouldn't listen. He should just turn and walk away, leaving the disgusting scene he's caught in. But... Chris. It's Chris, his best friend, his cochise... he's... talking to him. He wants to help. Josh shrugs, looking down at his hands.

“No... he left me at the lake...” he replies begrudgingly.

“Still, it's a start. There's got to be more than one way out of this place, right?”

“I... guess...”

“No, you know. Come on, we can get out of here.”

Josh wipes his eyes, then stands up again. Chris has a point. He has a decent starting point, and mines are usually huge, with multiple exits.

“...Okay.”

He starts walking to the doorway towards the underground lake, but Chris' voice stops him.

“Hey, don't leave me!”

“Uh...” he couldn't carry Chris... and Chris couldn't walk.

“You can't leave me alone. Please, Josh...” Chris pleads. Josh rubs his forehead. The cut there was starting to bother him, now that he realized it was caked with dried blood. How did he get this again? Was it from Hannah, or-

“Josh? Are you still there?”

“Oh, um... yeah, yeah,” he answers, coming back to the situation. He doesn't want to leave Chris, but... he wasn't so comfortable with carrying his head. He can't abandon him again, though.

He chews the inside of his cheek, then turns around. He carefully picks up Chris' severed head, scowling as a few drops of blood trickle to the ground. He feels cold, too cold. It makes him second guess this plan-

“Together,” Chris' voice says, cutting into his thoughts. His lips don't move.

Josh hesitantly nods once. Together.


	3. Endeavor

Holding Chris' head is... unsettling, Josh decides. It's not right, he shouldn't be carrying this around. Chris shouldn't be speaking, and Josh knew that, but he was a familiar voice down here. A friend.

“Bro, stop zoning out. You're scaring me,” Chris' voice reaches his ears, and Josh shakes his head.

“Sorry, I'm just...”

He holds Chris' head up so they're eye level, eyebrows furrowed in thought.

“Just what? Come on. We have to keep moving, we have to get out of here,” Chris says firmly, and Josh lets out a short sigh. Chris was right, again. He can worry about everything else as soon as they're out of the mines and safe. Right now, he has to focus. Get out of the mines, get back to the group.

“Whatever's on your mind, put it away for now.”

Josh continues on the path he took with Mike, pausing after he turns the corner just outside of the hook room.

“Wait, Chris, you lost your glasses,” he says, holding Chris' head up again.

“Yeah...”

“When did that happen?” He asks. Chris doesn't respond right away. As Josh stares into Chris' unfocused eyes, he begins questioning himself again. He feels his stomach turn as he realizes he's fucking carrying Chris' decapitated head.

“Can we just keep going? I must have left them at the lodge-”

“Chris, you can't see.”

“Yeah, so- let's get back to the lodge, and we'll find them, and then I'll be able to-”

“No, no, stop, no. You can't see, because...”

“Josh!” Chris snaps, making Josh jump, “I'm talking to you right now. We're in this together. We can get out of this together.”

Josh swallows, then nods. He still feels that deep down, something's wrong. He shoves it out of his mind, holds Chris' head to his chest and keeps walking. He doesn't get far.

He freezes again just outside of the brick doorway, the sound of rushing water causing terror to prick the skin on the back of his neck.

“C-Chris, w-we can't do this, I can't- she might still- the lake...”

“Josh...”

“We can't go this way, no, it's- it's not possible, if she's still here, we could- we'll both die...”

“Josh, is this the path you took with Mike?”

“Yeah...” Josh answers, looking down at Chris' head.

“Then we have to try. Mike must've made it back-”

“No,” Josh cuts him off, “I saw him get pulled under the water by Hannah, he must've drowned.”

Josh hears Chris sigh heavily. He weighs his options; he could try and cross the lake, but then what? He doesn't have any idea where to go after that. In addition, Hannah could still be down there, lurking, waiting. What was his second option? Going back to the hook room, waiting for her to come back anyway?

Josh bites his lip, then slumps his shoulders in defeat.

“... Fine, I'll try to cross it.”

“Thanks, bro. I just... it feels safer when we're going somewhere, you know?” Chris replies, and Josh can't help but agree.

Josh tries to stay quiet as he tiptoes to the edge of the lake. He sets Chris' head down on the edge with shaking hands, then slowly drops himself down into the freezing cold water. He can't help but groan, the temperature biting. His lungs seize up in a way that causes him to wince, the chill of the water doing nothing to help his injury.

He grabs Chris' head and begins slowly wading through the water. His legs protest against the cold, but the idea of freedom fills him with determination. He can get across this lake, with Chris by his side. Or rather, in his arms.

He's maybe halfway through the lake when he hears an animalistic screech from the other end of the cavern. Josh's muscles tense up, adrenaline pouring into his veins. He turns tail and dashes back the way he came, all the confidence he had prior dissipating as he hears nails against rock. Whoever or whatever was clawing into the walls was moving towards him.

His vision starts going spotty, and he can only hear his heart thumping in his chest. As Josh scrambles up the ledge with only one arm, he swears he can feel breath against the back of his neck. He screams and throws himself over the ledge, stumbling over his feet as he launches himself back through the doorway. He drops Chris' head at his side in favor of cowering, shielding his head with his arms.

“P-please... don't hurt me...” he whimpers, but nothing ever strikes him. He peeks over his arms and sees a creature resembling Hannah pacing by the doorway, staring back at him. He sits up quickly, terrified as he notices the monster's sharp teeth glinting in the low light of the mines.

The monster screeches angrily and rushes the doorway, but it stops short. It's almost like an invisible barrier is keeping him safe.

“Why isn't it... why isn't it coming?” Chris' voice flits through Josh's head, and Josh doesn't respond. He holds his breath, trembling as the creature seems to stare Josh down. It lets out one final screech, then quickly hops out of sight.

Josh should feel relieved, but he doesn't. That wasn't Hannah, it was so much smaller than her... why didn't it come for him? He's a sitting duck, a fresh meal-

“Bro!” Chris sighs, “Stop doing that!”

Josh looks down to Chris' head at his side, and the weight of the situation really hits him; he's going to die down here if he keeps having close calls with these monsters.

“We're not stuck- look, we're still alive, aren't we?” Chris retorts, and Josh's eyes start to tear.

“I-I want to go home, this isn't- those monsters... we can't get past them...”

He can't help it. He starts crying again, frustrated and afraid. Hannah was bound to come back, and at that point death was inevitable.

“Chris, we're going to die down here,” he sobs.

“No! We're going to make it out. I know we are- Josh, trust me, okay? Don't cry. Please.”

Chris' tone is firm, but his words are comforting. He's offering a faint glimmer of hope in this hopeless situation. Josh doesn't tell Chris he's still doubtful. He just nods quickly and wipes his tears away, trying to control the sobs that threaten to wrack his body. It's hard, painful even. The adrenaline rush from before definitely kept him alive during his flight from the monster, but during it he strained his injured lungs and chest. He just knows the pain he feels is going to be ten times worse once he's calmed down a little and the adrenaline ebbs away.

“...What do we do now?” Josh asks, voice quiet and shaky. 

“We should just... think. You know? Let's head back to the hook room, just for now. We can talk over some escape plans there,” Chris suggests.

Josh bites his lip, staring straight into Chris' eyes. He never really thought about the color of his eyes until now. They're glazed over, and they've lost the vibrancy they once had. He misses the shade of blue they once were.

His chest hurts, but Josh doesn't think it's because of his bruised ribs.


	4. Warmth

Once Josh returns to the hook room, he sits down in the corner farthest away from Chris' body and places his friend's head in front of him. He tries to take steady breaths, but the pain from his ribs is getting worse with each passing second.

“Okay...” Chris' voice fills Josh's ears again, “If we can't get out of the mines the way Mike showed us-”

“Then we can't get out at all,” Josh mumbles to himself. His thoughts flick back to the opening in the mines, the 'direct way out' Sam called it- she had gotten out that way.

“Then maybe we can get through there?” Chris suggests, reading Josh's mind. Josh shakes his head.

“No, no... Mike said there's no way I could make it up there, he's right...”

“Josh, come on. I didn't pay attention in climbing class, but you did! You didn't even try it, I bet.”

Josh frowns, reminded of something from earlier in the night. When he and Chris were trying to get into the lodge... it feels like so long ago. What he wouldn't give to get back to that moment, just... never go through with his whole plan...

“I didn't try, but it's too high. I can't do it. I know I can't. Besides... my ribs hurt, really, really bad,” Josh admits.

“We can't just sit here,” Chris argues.

“I don't think we have any other option...” Josh looks away from Chris' head, hugging his shoulders. After their escape attempt, he was freezing. The freezing water had soaked through his clothes completely, and seeped into his bones.

“Josh... are you cold?” Chris asks, changing the subject. His voice is soft, concerned. Josh nods in response.

“Hey, why don't you take my jacket?”

Josh's head snaps back to Chris.

“What?... No, no...” he answers quickly. He doesn't want to... touch Chris' body. He's a bit used to his head by now, but his body...? Something about it makes him really... uncomfortable.

“No, really. You need it more than me.”

Josh frowns, eyebrows furrowing. Well... Yeah, he was cold... and Chris' jacket was pretty amazing. He's worn it a few times. Sure, it was a few sizes too big, but it was one of the comfiest jackets Josh has ever worn. But in order to get it, he'd have to go... be close to Chris' body. And that disgusting hole where his head should be... At least with Chris' head, he could set it down in a way that he wouldn't have to look at the gory mess where his neck should connect.

“Josh, take it. Now,” Chris says firmly, and Josh just sighs in defeat. He stands up and inches his way towards Chris' body on shaking legs. Was it from the cold, or was it his nerves?

Finally, Josh finds himself standing in front of Chris' hanging body. He had to get it down...

“Chris,” Josh calls, “I-I can't...”

“Yes, you can.”

Josh squeezes his eyes shut and turns his head away, reaching out to Chris' body. He bites his lip as he feels his ankles, getting a firm hold on them. He lifts, but he cries out in pain as his ribs protest. He drops Chris' ankles before he can get him off the hook, causing him to swing.

The sight is grotesque. Josh ends up turning away, bile rising in his throat.

“Oh, God...” he moans, body trembling. He collapses to his knees, clutching his head. The rattling of the chain holding Chris' body becomes almost deafening. Then, the voices come back.

Dr. Hill's, Hannah's, Beth's- all nearly screaming.

“Look what you did, Josh!”

“Why did you let us die? Why did you kill us Josh? Why did you kill Chris, too?”

“You're a murderer!”

“Stop it!” He screams, but the voices only seem to get louder. Another one, an unfamiliar one says his name. It's voice is low, raspy. Terrifying.

“Stop!” He screams again, looking up. The voices all stop at once. The sudden shift in volume actually hurts his head.

“Josh, are you okay?!” Chris says from across the room, and Josh swallows hard. No, he really wasn't.

“I... I can't get it d-down,” he stammers. He hears Chris sigh.

“You have to. You need my coat. Try it one more time.”

That is definitely the last thing Josh wants to do, but he doesn't have the will to protest. He obliges, standing up and trudging over to Chris' body. It's stopped swinging, at least.

Josh grabs hold of Chris' legs again and tries to lift him off the hook, but the pain in his ribs is too much. He ends up falling onto his back, the force enough to tear Chris off the hook. Chris lands on top of Josh, making him shriek. He shoves the body away from him, his stomach turning once more.

When Josh collects himself, he struggles with the coat. He keeps his eyes shut the whole time he's wrestling Chris' jacket off his body. It's all worth it, though; he feels warmer as soon as he pulls the extra layer on. He quickly retreats back to the corner where Chris' head was still lying against the rock floor of the cave.

“Better?” Chris asks, and Josh just shrugs. Physically, he felt a little better. Mentally, well, wrestling with your best friend's decapitated corpse is definitely not mentally scarring or anything. They sit in silence for a few minutes as Josh warms up.

The silence is broken by Josh's stomach growling, and honestly, it nearly scares Josh out of his skin. During all the commotion, he hasn't even thought about food. But now...

“Oh my God...” He breathes, looking around frantically, “I-I don't have any sort of food down here, I... This is a death sentence...”

But...

His eyes land on Chris' body.

“Hey,” Chris' voice breaks through his thoughts, “what are you looking at me like that for?”

Why was he looking at Chris like that? No, that's- no, what a sick thought. He shouldn't fucking eat Chris. He wouldn't.

“If you eat me, you're really asking for it. You're really going to get it, Washington! I won't talk to you, ever again. Never. You can count on that,” Chris says sternly, and Josh shakes his head. No, he can't risk losing Chris again.

“I won't... I wasn't even thinking about it...” Josh mumbles, turning his back on Chris' body. His headache takes a turn for the worse, then. He whines and lays down against the cold earth, letting his eyes shut. Maybe, just maybe, a nap would help him feel better.


End file.
